Bad form design, don't you think?

What would you call bad form design?

One of my favorite computer video games is Team Fortress 2. I love the game. Gameplay is great as well as the graphics. I'm more for function over form; would rather have great gameplay and not care so much about how fancy it looks. Sadly, whenever they update TF2, adding new features, my frame-rate goes to hell, dropping down below 10fps at times. This makes it very hard to play, especially when timing can be critical. There was an update for the spy slash sniper a few weeks ago. As well, last Spring, I recall spending a substantial amount of time tweaking my system, to no avail. A few weeks later, after an obscure update, my FPS went back up and I was able to play again. "In limbo", I guess is the term I could apply here.

Anyway, one of the things about that game that kills me, is how they have the RESUME GAME button right above the DISCONNECT BUTTON. Like many web pages' forms, someone puts the SEND MESSAGE button right next to the CANCEL MESSAGE button. I've mentioned this in the game and have had gamers respond by telling me I need to watch where I click. That is too obvious, it doesn't even need to be said, but my point is,

Is this just widely accepted or is it simply overlooked?

Is it because decades ago, someone created the first web form with those two buttons right next to each other and then it became widely accepted as "document law"?? Seriously, in FaceBook.com's messaging system, I just spent 5 minutes replying to a friend and because FB is a javascript-plenty resource hog, it tends to make my machine lag and mouse stutter, so I go to click the SEND MESSAGE button, miss and click the BACK TO INBOX button which blows out my work / message, so I lose the time and effort I put in, responding to my friend. Seriously, what is the deal?

Who puts the SELF-DESTRUCT switch right next to the MAKE PEACE switch ??

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